Rabbi David Moses
Community rabbi. Founder of Ask Moses.
5 answers
Answered
I've been struggling with belief in God since October 7th. Is it ok to be angry at God?
Yes. It is not only ok — it is one of the most Jewish things you can do. Avraham argued, Moshe argued, Iyov shouted, and the Psalms are full of "how long?" Anger addressed to God is still a relationship with God. The opposite of faith is not anger; it is indifference, walking away without a word. You are still in the conversation, and that matters more than you know.
1.1k likes · 8d ago
Answered
My son wants to marry a non-Jewish woman he loves deeply. How do I handle this as a parent without destroying our relationship?
I have sat with many parents in exactly this chair, and I will tell you what I have seen. The families who did the most damage were not the ones who disagreed — they were the ones who turned every conversation into a verdict. Your son already knows what you believe. He does not need it repeated; he needs to know whether there is still room for him at your table. So say the hard thing once, gently and clearly, and then spend the rest of your energy on the relationship. Love is the longest game there is, and you want to still be playing it in twenty years.
538 likes · 13d ago
Answered
How do I explain the concept of Teshuvah to my 8-year-old?
I like to use the eraser. A pencil comes with an eraser built in — not because we expect to write perfectly, but because everyone makes mistakes and the mistake is not the end of the page. Teshuvah is Hashem building an eraser into the world. And model it. The most powerful drasha on teshuvah an eight-year-old will ever hear is watching you say "I was wrong, I'm sorry, I'll try again" — to her. When she sees that grown-ups do teshuvah too, it stops being a punishment and becomes simply how good people live.
377 likes · 1mo ago
Answered
Our shul is debating whether to add an egalitarian minyan. I'm on the board — how do I navigate this without tearing the community apart?
Here is the diplomat's counsel, having watched shuls both split and survive over exactly this. Slow it down and separate the two questions. Question one is halachic: what is actually permitted? That goes to your rav, full stop. Question two is communal: how do we hold a real disagreement without anyone feeling erased? Run a process people can trust — open listening sessions, a clear explanation of who decides what and why, no surprises sprung at a vote. Most shuls that tore apart did not do so over the halacha; they tore apart over people feeling ambushed and disrespected. If both "sides" believe they were heard and the decision was made with integrity, your community can survive almost any specific outcome. Protect the relationships and the trust, and the policy question becomes survivable.
288 likes · 19d ago
Answered
My elderly mother wants to stop dialysis. What does halacha say about end of life decisions?
This is among the most serious questions a family can face, and it cannot be answered correctly by a stranger on the internet — please bring it to a rav who deals with these cases together with her doctors. What I can offer is the shape of it. Judaism treats life as infinitely precious, and we do not actively end it. But halacha does distinguish between treatments, and the questions of pain, of whether dialysis has become an ongoing affliction, and of your mother's own wishes and capacity all matter enormously. So gather three voices in one room: a posek experienced in end-of-life shailos, her treating physician, and your mother herself while she can speak for herself. Do not carry this decision alone, and do not let guilt rush it. The fact that you are asking, carefully and in fear of Heaven, tells me you will handle it with the seriousness it deserves.
201 likes · 27d ago